It’s All Your Fault

How to Have Marital Fights and Stay Together

With divorce rates exceeding 50%, one of the greatest mysteries in modern psychology is what makes some couples stay together and what makes others break up. In this lecture, we will familiarize ourselves with the work of Prof. John Gottman of Seattle, who has studied couples for over 40 years in his ‘love lab’, in a scientific attempt to discover the secrets of lasting love. We will focus on what he had learned about fights – how to have a good fight and how to have a bad one. We will discover why rolling up your eyes while your partner is talking is a kiss of death to the relationship (this insight is relevant mostly to women), and why showing concern is often much better appreciated by your partner than fixing the problem (this insight is relevant mostly to men).